We have seen how the incessant muttering of the brainmind is both a source of comfort, and a real bother. It’s a comfort because our survival imprint is constantly reassuring us we are safe, and it’s a bother because of the constant nature of the thinking and analyzing.
We have grown used to our brains, and having an active brain can be quite useful, especially if we want to be on Jeopardy! However, and isn’t there always a “however?” when we try to go deeper inside ourselves to see what is really there, this chatter can become a pain in the you-know-what. And its always telling you what to do, what to think, what to say. Imagine if you could simply let someone else drive you across town without ever feeling the need to suggest they change lanes or turn here. Imagine if you somehow didn’t have an opinion on every single thing. We have all these thoughts and opinions because we want to feel safe, but that urge is disguised as a myriad of behaviors which are a pain to everyone, and to our sense of peaceful existence. Maybe not always, but definitely sometimes, and we become aware in our studies that the people we consider great teachers or gurus or awakened ones, have dissolved their habitual tendencies so that the automatic reactivity that defines the average person is replaced by a fluid and graceful Presence. And if you are like me, we want to know how we can get there from here.
We all have various versions of active brain, and they are a symptom of our particular tendencies. We could call them a kind of flavoring to our unique existence, and they correlate to how safe and un-threatened we were as babies and children, and how stressful a life we have created.
It takes time and effort to even notice our tendencies, and to go further into knowing that they are learned, and not really part of us. The simple realization that our “style” is not
real is tough enough, but finding out how little of the “me I think I am” is real is tougher. Understanding that we are a flotsam and jetsam of traits we absorbed early on is easy. We can understand the concept intellectually, but to get it viscerally, in the gut, is a little more work.
But suppose you do find a piece of you that feels unwelcome. It may be a reaction to something you accidentally said, or how you felt at a particular time, or a memory of a feeling, and you ask yourself where you feel it. This is an important distinction. We all feel things, and our feelings, being generally reactive, seem to happen to us. In this case, we are turning our habitual tendency around and actively feeling something specific on purpose.
If you do it this way, you will immediately find a physical location in the body where there is a charge. Now, tuning into this charge is easy but delicate, and while the charge itself is not a story, using a story to find the charge is quite useful. Once we have the charge, or the root feeling, we let go of the story and concentrate on the feeling itself. Feelings have a frequency or atmosphere, as in “Afraid” or “Angry.” This is different from “afraid of dogs” or “angry at my mother.” This is the feeling itself.
And this is not about expressing the feeling. We can feel anger, for instance, without having to be angry at someone or about something. So it is easy to see that we can home in on the charge of anger without necessarily getting mad, or venting or really expressing in any way.
Once we “locate” a feeling, we simply invite it to be felt. From understanding, it seems simple. The process is quite simple, but it can feel huge from a subjective standpoint, and until you experience it, it sounds like something we can understand and dismiss. But when you are in it, it is bbbiiiggg, or at least seems that way.
This is why a facilitator (like myself) is good to have around, because while I am describing a process to you, the process that we use as Living Essence Counselors, or as Awakening Coaches, doing it by yourself is difficult, especially at first. The tendency is to run away from the feeling because it feels so big and scary, and my job is to both help you stay in it, and to actually feel it with you. I feel the same vibration in my body you feel in yours, and it is not empathy or compassion, it is the actual sharing of a feeling.
As you dive into a feeling, you will likely notice several things, one being that the feeling has a few qualities, for instance, you will notice that it has been wanting to be felt for an extremely long time, that it wants to “come home.” You may also notice that while it seems really scary at first, it is just trapped energy, and that you indeed do have the ability feel it more than you thought you did.
There are several things that can happen, but let’s just say that if you manage to locate a feeling that has been held for a while and you learn how to dive into it, it will eventually release its hold, and become what it was originally designed to be: namely another tool in your toolbox. That’s all.
After a wave or two of this feeling coming home to be felt and acknowledged, the real magic happens. I have described how these held feelings send a busy signal into the cosmos, and this is why we don’t get what we say we want. (see some of the previous articles for this bit) But what happens when we stop sending busy signals? What happens when the sabotage of our desires ceases?
Stay tuned for the next story: Light into Space…….