In this space, I have been exploring the ways that we respond to life, along with the various ways that we wish we could be different, and the ways we sabotage our command structure. We mostly know about the Law of Attraction by now, and we might be up on the discussions currently available about how we counteract our own desires with hidden fears, doubts and problems of deserving and self-worth.
What is missing in all the rhetoric is a simple answer to why we do all this sabotage. I was listening to Bruce Lipton, co-author of Spontaneous Evolution (w/ Steve Bhaerman) and he was talking about the subconscious being like a tape player, constantly playing the doubt and fear tapes. He said that next time we see a tape player playing, we should try going up and talking to it, telling it to stop playing what it is playing.
Now, this is an accurate picture, even though our subconscious doesn’t really play in words. The tapes may sound like thoughts and beliefs that repeat endlessly, but that is just the part that reaches our thinking mind. And as I have said before, talking about our problems does little to dissolve our tendency to create problems. Yes, talking is better than nothing, we all know people who can’t even admit they have any problems, let alone tell the truth about them. And talking does eventually allow access to the problems themselves. For instance, if I have a memory of an event that is traumatic and haunts me, and it feeds a hidden fear/reluctance, or an aversion to certain kinds of action, I can talk about that event to the point of uncovering my fears.
All well and good. But, when I have a hidden charge, which is the feeling associated with the event itself, and is the sum of feelings not felt or completed at the time, even when I recognize the sabotage, I may not dissolve the event complately, and therefore, while I may become aware of certain behaviors and be more capable of counteracting those behaviors, my protection of the initial event remains intact. The result is that I will still allow subterfuge, acting in certain ways because this trauma is still operative, even when I have believed I have “taken care of it.”
Let me re-iterate this mechanism. Say I have a memory of a traumatic event, the first one I personally encountered in my training was being locked in a basement when I was four, to use me as an example. Now, I carried that event with me unconsciously, for many years, and it showed up in dreams, and in behaviors that were in the form of avoidance, and reactivity, etc. In other words, I was making choices, and not making other choices, because of the fear that this held memory kept operative.
Now, I could have talked to someone about the behavior, “I didn’t take that job,” or “I yelled at my wife,” and found that I did those things because they triggered this held place in my body, and I might resolve to not do those things again, being aware now of the cause of those behaviors.
But what of the event itself? If I don’t complete the event, which I certainly didn’t do at the time it actually happened, I continue to hold it apart and operative as a generator of tension. So am I free? No, I am unconsciously allowing my behavior, my preferences and my desire manifestation to be sabotaged by this still-operative trauma. I am living my life as an avoidance of feeling a feeling I really hated when it came around the first time, and became a pattern in my body.
The discussion of our hidden factors that sabotage our use of the Law of Attraction continues to neglect the actual language of the subconscious. That language is feeling. It is not negative thoughts, or even beliefs. And more importantly, it is not emotional reactivity. It is how we feel about things below the level of thought and belief that creates the thoughts and beliefs themselves. And emotional reaction is only a sign of a more deeply held feeling or belief that is triggered by events.
The holding of feeling in the body in an incomplete or stifled manner is what causes the tension that produces the unconscious thought patterns that we believe can be dissolved by things like affirmations, positive thinking and being hyper-aware of what we are doing and saying. But, and this is a big but, anything that leaves the hidden feeling intact will remain as a source for more unconscious repetition of the sabotage.
So, talking to the tape player is indeed useless. Resistance is useless. Avoidance is useless. And going into feeling on a case-by-case basis is too time-consuming.
There is a pathway into the subconscious, and it is what I call the Trail of Breadcrumbs that God, or the Radiant Consciousness that is our very nature, left for us to follow as a recourse to being trapped in thought and cycles of sabotage. It is in the discovery and liberation of feeling itself, deep inside, that we have the opportunity to achieve true freedom.
Stay tuned for more on this subject, with more on technique and reason.
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